Paula Span
In When the Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions, Paula Span uses her personal experience to gain insight into the struggles and rewards of family caregivers.
A journalist who spent half her career at the Washington Post and is now an adjunct professor at the Columbia School of Journalism, Paula used a similar structure to explore paid caregiving in “Marilyn Daniel’s Reward.” In that article, which was a cover story for the Washington Post Magazine, she used the story of one compassionate home health aide as her focus for a look at the profession as a whole. I got to know and respect her when she contacted me during her research for that article. You never know how things will turn out when a journalist calls for a quote, but Paula got the story just right.
In When the Time Comes, Paula writes lovingly of the insights she gained in her new and deepening relationship with her father as she became his caregiver. She reaffirms the value of small things, such as having dinner with dad at his favorite diner even he insists on paying rather than mailing him presents that he will just file away.
She also profiles several families whose “unrecognized courage and devotion” leads them to “step up” in the hardest of circumstances. And she looks at the social and demographic trends that play into that experience, like the hospitals that are discharging patients “sicker and quicker” and the rise in working women and two-income families that increases the pressure on adult children who care for a parent. She also writes about the ”sandwich generation,” who have children of their own at home to care, and about family caregivers who are elderly themselves and find it increasingly difficult to provide the help needed.
Reading this book clarified for me why paid caregivers have such a strong, almost familial relationship with the people they care for and their families. Like soldiers in the same foxhole, they relate to the struggles of the people whose lives they enter in such an intimate way.
Like so many family caregivers, professional direct care workers must “step up” without proper training, caring for people who may have complex needs. Many also struggle to care for their own children, and many are elderly and finding the physical demands of the work more challenging every year.
Paula’s story highlights key aspect of the caregiving experience. It’s a good resource for families who are in the same situation and feeling alone, or for direct care workers and others who want to better understand the challenges that face family caregivers.
Leonila Vega
Executive Director
Direct Care Alliance
